What you’re going to read here is some insight into my life as a traveler. I very rarely get this personal with anyone other than my closest friends, but sometimes it’s cool to open up. By the end of this blog maybe you will have gained some insight or understanding.

What Made Me Write This

During the month of February 2026, in the middle of my current trip abroad (in Brazil) I was dealing with a fast growing level of anxiety. I couldn’t handle my thoughts, couldn’t make sound decisions, and my insomnia was at an all time high. I was drinking alcohol almost daily, smoking a ton of cigarettes, forcing a social battery to be alive that was already dead. It was living my life, but I was miserable with myself and painfully confused.

At some point I lost mental control, after already having lost a ton of belongings throughout my travels. The snowball effect of misfortune an intrusive thoughts culminated in an anxiety attack at some yacht party I was attending. There was nowhere to run, literally. All of my flaws, mistakes and trauma smacked me in my face and I just had to take it.

After that moment I was pretty shook. I had to address a couple serious issues that are directly tied to each other – sleep deprivation and anxiety

A Little Bit about Me

Typically after feeling really anxious, I don’t sleep, I just DO MORE THINGS to take my mind off the feeling. I can’t just let it go and go to bed. I have to resolve it or avenge whatever caused it. I’ll watch movies all night, write, go on social media, stay out late alone or with friends, whatever it takes until the feeling dies.

That’s how I’ve operated most of my life, in a sleep deficit.

It’s widely recognized that chronic lack of sleep is strongly linked to memory issues, forgetfulness, and cognitive brain function. I’ve known this but I’ve been casually ignoring it by being obsessively ambitious for new information and experiences. That keeps me awake enough to be a functioning insomniac.

At home I can live this way because my life is so predictable. I go to work and go home, that’s it. I save money to travel and live frugally, completely sober. So, even though I don’t sleep much, there is nothing else going on in my life to exacerbate the negative effects by providing too much stimuli or changing environments.

Traveling makes it much harder to operate. My life completely flips to one of spontaneity, excitement, and stimulation. For me it’s a gift and a curse.

Before I started my trip, I told myself I would try not to lose ANYTHING. I had a plan! That plan didn’t work at all. I was the same me, but even worse. For the sake of some perspective, here’s a list of all the things I’ve lost in a little less 3 months

• 1 debit card
• 2 sets of bluetooth headphones
• 1 cell phone
• 1 umbrella
• 6 shirts
• 1 hoodie
• 1 pair of shorts
• 1 pair of swim trunks
• 1 pair of sandals
• 2 towels
• 2 charging adaptors
• 1 lock
• 1 cable for my digital camera
• 1 new bottle of sunscreen
• 1 bottle of shampoo
• 1 bracelet
• 1 bar of soap and container
• 1 pair of sunglasses
• Multiple lighters and rolling papers
• My US sim card for my phone
• Not sure how many socks
• 2 Friendships

How did this happen? I thought I was so prepared…. It turned out to be simple: my memory was failing me due to lack of sleep.

Throughout my life, I’ve worked on dealing with my mind’s paranoia and anxiety, but my insomnia has been irresponsibly ignored. Linking the 2 issues together was something I had never thought of doing to help myself, until now.

Recently, it felt like I was falling apart. I realized that certain habits and behaviors I thought I had overcome, were still barriers. To my further detriment, my brain had no power to deal with all of it because I literally was out of battery. Anxiousness ensued.

Somehow, what should have been an amazing life traveling the world, had actually resulted in a bunch of negatives:

Losing/forgetting/missing things, mental fog and confusion, random antisocial behavior, complacency and hesitation, frustration, difficulty in making decisions, low energy, holding myself back, replaying negative memories, etc. I started to judge myself harder, question myself, hate myself.

So, what did I do next? On the last day of this nightmare I lost my phone and a 2nd pair of headphones. I put my foot down and said ‘never again‘. I had to get my sanity back.

My First Solution

I came up with a solution = Stop doing everything that causes me to not sleep

Since my sleep and anxiety are correlated, I figured an amazing start would be to prioritize sleeping. It’s a less complex issue than anxiety and easier to manage.

I decided to quit cigarettes and alcohol. These 2 substances fueled my social and dating lives, keeping me up night. They also have a negative effect on my nervous system, triggering anxiety and inhibiting my ability to sleep.

Alcohol facilitates my smoking, which stimulates my overly active mind. Drinking also makes me emotionally unstable, providing an entry for self demeaning thoughts and anxious feelings, giving them a space to run wild. Of course it feels good getting a buzz and socializing, but for me the bad outweighs the good. I’m hard on myself, and ten times harder when I drink.

These days, I just go to bed early and I try to force myself to sleep at least 8 hours, even if I don’t want to. I’m slowing everything down and teaching myself patience, something not very natural for me while traveling. It feels like I’m stopping myself from living, but I know that’s just the anxiety talking.

Since implementing this regiment into my travel schedule, I haven’t lost anything, and have less anxious feelings. Even better, I have more of an abundance of energy to combat any negative emotion, and a sober mind to face it with solutions.

I’ve also chosen to adapt to a different kind of social life, not linked with alcohol, smoking, or nightlife.

So far, so good, but we’ll see how long I can accept it and grow with it.

Moving Forward

I’m planning on staying sober and having a consistent sleep routine with natural sleep aids for the remainder of my current trip, which has no definitive end date.

I’m also considering developing a consistency between my travel life and work life by joining them together. Maybe the digital nomad route is the way, and maybe getting paid from this blog is the way. There are also other ways to earn a living abroad which I am considering as well.

I see it like this – If I’m permanently traveling, there will be no need to “break out of prison” and let myself go; there will be less of a potential to relapse into a life of less control.

Managing Mental Health Abroad

Everyone is different. We all have different things going on in our heads and deal with various negative emotions caused by several factors. I think some very important questions to ask ourselves when traveling are:

1. Why am I traveling?
2. What makes me happy about it?
3. What would keep me from that happiness?

Mental health is essential for our happiness. Maintaining a consistent health routine for ourselves should be just as important as seeing the things we want to see and doing the activities we want to do while traveling.

I know this wasn’t an informative piece of writing, but I felt the desire to share it with all of you. Hopefully you took something positive from it.

THANKS FOR READING!